Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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