hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
