they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
sex in a hospital.. check
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
