he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
