Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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