YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
