She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
