coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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