Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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