hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
