just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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