That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
