you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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