Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I can text with my tongue
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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