I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
