Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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