no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
