Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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