either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
