sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
