Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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