can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
