I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you told grandpa to call you daddy
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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