Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
