2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
