just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
