Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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