Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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