what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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