I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
