Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
whose parrot is this?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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