so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
