I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
