im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
