I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
