She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
