Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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