I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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