yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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