Yo dont text me then not text me
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
