and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
