I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
