I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize