look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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