I've blown a few things in my day
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
