Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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