so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
