Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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