Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
