erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
