i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
