they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
