after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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