i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
