we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
