This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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