You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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