Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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