I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
