I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
