My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
