He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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