I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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