hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just want to make out with him forever
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
