It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
