Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
