How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
