i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
