listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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