So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
