If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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