Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
