I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Randomize
