I'm gonna have a badass scar
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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