it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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