you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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