Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
