I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
