I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My liver just broke up with me...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
