Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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