So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
my liver is dry heaving
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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