I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
