you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
