I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
