You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize