i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
