I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
